Grief
I am noticing…
Grief tastes like sour cherry ice cream.
It looks like an old cozy sweater full of moth holes.
Grief feels like jellyfish stings to the heart.
It smells like rotten summer tomatoes.
Grief sounds like a rusty swing blowing in the wind.
Yesterday, my siblings and I had a mini celebration for our deceased mother. It was her 80th birthday. It has been almost been 15 years since she passed and the grief continues to swell my heart.
In American culture, grief is something “unpleasant.” Something you experience during a funeral and then are meant to “suck it up” and keep your emotions to yourself in your own room. When the heartbreaks no one else wants to see it. But grief is messy. The ironic thing is it is universal. We all experience it so why is there so much shame around it?
I notice shame bubbles up in me when I cry in public. Sometimes just the thought of hugging or holding my mom’s hand again can bring tears to my eyes. Yet, I feel this internal filter whisper: “swallow your emotions. No one wants to see that.” Emotions can make people feel uncomfortable. And yet, emotions are the fabric of life. They give life texture, color and connection.
The more I practice making grief feel tangible, the more I am able to befriend it. The more it transforms from an unwelcome visitor to an old friend.
This Week’s Practice:
I welcome you to reflect and notice grief.
Share your noticings with me in the comments or send me a DM.
What does grief smell like? Taste like? Sound like? Feel like? Look Like?
Where are you experiencing grief right now? (it can be in small ways like weekly dead flowers or in larger ways like a health diagnosis, divorce etc.).
What happens when you accept grief is here?