Keeping Promises

Staying in alignment when the short term reward is tempting

I am sitting on a rooftop in Sayulita Mexico, watching the sunrise over the mountains. The ocean waves crash in the distance. Surfers shuffle into the water to catch their morning waves. The humid air feels moist on my face and curls my hair.

I take a deep breath in—filling my lungs with ocean air. I take a deep breath out. I am here I whisper to myself. I notice the back of my heart gently releases and rests back into the moment.

I watch the bright orange sky morph to yellow with streaks of pink. I am in disbelief I got out of bed to make it in time for sunrise. Yesterday being a travel day, I went to bed with very little sleep in my back pocket. The urge to keep sleeping when my alarm went off was strong. I pressed snooze and as I watched the eight minute snooze countdown begin, I felt an internal decision point. The cozy comforter was whispering my name to stay and snuggle. I could almost feel the sheets wrap around me tighter to keep me anchored.

Yet, my heart knew I made a promise. The promise to get up and create before I consumed. To take the morning slow and steady before I had some important work calls. Even though I am half on vacation and want to through structure out the figurative window, I also know gentle structure keeps me grounded. It keeps me connected to my body and own voice. It keeps me connected to what matters. It keeps me feeling good. I got out of bed with four minutes left on the snooze alarm. While everyone else kept sleeping and the magnetic pull to climb back into bed was strong, I anchored into my breath and feet to carry me out the door.

I made it to the rooftop to sit and meditate for ten minutes with my eyes open, watching nature slowly stretch and wake up. I took two rolled up yoga mats and turned them into my meditation station. Criss cross apple sauce with my legs. My spine long. Chest open. I felt the cold cement ground touch my knee caps. I felt my shoulders drop away from my ears. I celebrated myself for being right here. For keeping my promise to myself alive. Scientist might call this muscle willpower, but I think of it differently. To know what’s important to myself and to follow through feels sacred.

My business tag-line reminds me every day, “One Mind. One Body. One Life.” I only got one of her so I want to honor her. Maybe it’s my Taurus quality of loyalty (or stubbornness) or it is one of my core values of love. Either way, I know how shitty it is to receive flakey behavior and I don’t want to be one of those types of friends to myself. When I say I am going to do something, I damn well want to follow through. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but showing up is more than half the battle. This is how I build trust with myself. I follow through. I am done abandoning myself or avoiding what she wants because of fear. Discerning what’s important to me without the “shoulds” is where I want to put my attention.

Before I get up from my meditation station to make a cup of coffee, I put one hand on my heart and one hand on my solar plexus. I take a deep breath in, feeling my hands rise with the inhale and fall with the exhale. I receive the good of keeping my promise. I want to continue to build these neutral pathways. I want to continue to build trust within my own nervous system. Within my own skin.

What are you noticing about your relationship to keeping promises to yourself?