One of the most powerful practices I have been doing for over a decade is what I call, Engage a Stranger. I started to make this an intentional practice when I was in New York City going through chemotherapy in 2010.
I felt extremely lonely and depressed during this period. Not only was I battling cancer, but I was also mourning my mother who just lost her own battle to Leukemia1. I was 21 years old. Life felt bleak. My hair was falling out. None of my friends were around. I was navigating many losses that no one understood, especially at my age.
As much as I wanted to be a victim to my circumstances, I knew it would only make me feel more angry, isolated and lonely.
In order to get me out of my own thoughts and swirl of sadness, I took the attention off of me and put it on a random stranger. I could be sitting on the subway, standing in an elevator or waiting inline for a coffee.
I’d spot someone who grabbed my attention for whatever reason.
Maybe I loved their lipstick color.
Maybe they looked like they were having a bad day.
Maybe they were just sitting next to me.
I started the conversation by usually complimenting something about them or directly asking them, “how are you doing?” And meaning it while making eye contact.
I’d watch people light up.
I noticed how warm my heart felt.
My eyes felt brighter.
I felt more alive for opening my heart and giving positive energy to someone. The act of connection is free and yet it would make my day feel rich and full.
In a world where loneliness and isolation is an epidemic, taking a mindful moment to Engage a Stranger can do wonders.
Every day I aim to do this at least once and it feels like the light turns on brighter.
This Week’s Practice:
Share your noticings with me in the comments or send me a DM.
Engage a Stranger with a compliment, smile or curious question. If it feels uncomfortable, you are doing it correctly.
Notice how it feels inside your own heart and mind.
Notice how they respond and the energy you just created.
Join me on Tuesday March 25th @ 12pm PT for a free Mindful Moment Meetup. This is an opportunity to practice a form of self-care that will support your mental health and build resilience.